Optimism Beyond the Day

Everything happens for a reason, and that's for sure. Being very optimistic of everything happened to my life gives me a sense of encouragement to move forward, to look forward beyond infinite possibilities. I must not go on a corner just to cry. Nothing will change if I do that either. If I talk to God, my burdens might be so easy to handle since I have expressed to Him what my complains are.

Yesterday, I felt very sad. My smiles conceal my inner pain. I don't know what to do. My mind was not clear and I have to make myself feel better because problems are actually inevitable. But feeling better is not the mood of my life yesterday. I lost my appetite. I feel so tired and sleepy. It seems like that I am from nowhere, and don't know what the best thing to do.

When I went back home from office, I took a nap. I got a cup of coffee and searched the net. There I found one very interesting quote from Dennis Waitley: "Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."

I just sit back and unwind on the quote. There I knew that I shouldn't really lose hope. I should not be afraid of moving forward because when one door closes, there can be many doors to open if you let them be. As I look towards a new and brighter day, I only hope one thing. That I could be able to find the answers to make me believe that every problem comes up with a corresponding unlimited solutions.

Note to God

I was touched listening to one of Charice Pempengco's music hits, Note To God. From the title, I have the idea of what's gonna be the message of the song. It's a personal wish of walking into the right path and of finding the real meaning of love through forgiveness.

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak what's in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
and for peace to mend this world

If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find a way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness
in our hearts

I can't find any good reasons why people fight each other. Is it because of personal wants and gains? Or is it just the environment that taught them how to be rude with their fellow human? Why are there wars between countries? Aren't they satisfied with the territory that they have, that is why they are craving for more? Why don't just peace be with all of us and help each other amidst differences on religion, race and culture? 

I have so many questions to ask; so many things that I need concrete answers. Perhaps, it's so easy to just question out and give your complains, but it will actually take a very long time before it will happen. I believe that there is still hope for this. I just don't know when that hope will be given an answer. I am neither God nor a prophet to answer such.

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue

And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from You

Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

Sad to say, people sometimes remember God whenever they have biggest problems on their backs. They pray to God to ease the burden that they encounter. I see no problem with that. It just shows that we seek God's help on giving us the strength and faith to carry on. We seek on someone that we think can contribute on the solution of our problems.

If given a chance to wrote a note to God, the following is my message to Him. It is a simple, yet so memorable note to God:

Hello there God! How are you? I actually don't know what You look like now. Maybe with all the stress that you have in granting the prayers of those people (including me) that need You most, probably you look so old now. Sad. Here on earth we have facelift! I can treat you one! Kidding aside, I believe that you know what's on my heart, on how thankful I am on every blessings that You are giving to me and to my family everyday, and of course, on every wishes that have given katuparan because of my faith and perseverance. Sorry for the things that I have done on every means.  I hope that You'll gonna watch me always and lead me to the place where I should go. Also, keep blessing my family, my friends and my country. Thank you so much.

Keeping Still on Every Imminent Fall

"I may look so weak for some, but I will keep standing on every imminent fall I face." That is my perception when problems bombard my family. My family is my weakness. Even though my parents do not want to disclose some problems to us, I always feel that there were. I understand why my parents have to do this or that just to protect us, just to give us a comfortable  living.

Problems always struck me. Whether it was school affairs, personal matters, or family misunderstanding, all of those have tested my capability of pursuing my life here on earth. My problems may just be a percent of other people's problems. And I thank God for that. He is always giving me the encouragement and the determination in every unfortunate circumstances of my life.

My family is my inspiration on everything I do. Though there were times that we misunderstood each other, I love them with all my heart. Problems make our family stronger than the usual. But, in this time of so many problems to face, how will we survive? What are the things should we do to lessen the burden being thrown to us? I would not blame God for this, but I will actually thank Him because once we survive all of these, we can be proud of ourselves that no matter how hard it looks, it may be simple if the family is always working together.

I will keep on standing no matter what happen. I will not let problems win over me. Problems are intangible and yet so powerful, but I have a stronger weapon. It is a combination of faith and perseverance. It is a matter of mind-setting of being able to win these battles of life.

My Last Year's Pre-Christmas Gift

It was last year when I searched my Grade 1 teacher. She is Ma. Haziel B. Orpiana. I kept searching her name on Facebook, but unfortunately I can't find her name. It was God's plan that I knew her pamangkin and I added him on Facebook and asking what is her aunt's FB account. At first, Jomari (her pamangkin) doesn't want to give his aunt's URL because he cannot remember me. I took a spare time to chat him and prove that he really knew me. Thank God he remembered me and the pre-Christmas gift arrived.

She is now Ma. Haziel O. Schulbergs. She is married to an Australian guy whose name and face I don't know. She posted a message on my wall and I have realized if Ms. Schulbergs and I would talk in private message. And so I did. The following are just the excerpt of the conversation that we had during the celebration of Christmas Day.

Eduardo A. Bolanga Jr. (December 25, 2010):  

Hey, Miss. Again, happy holidays. By the way, I've realized that it was too awkward to tell personal messages on a comment box.

When it comes to my college education, I'm currently studying at Asia Pacific College in Makati City. I've been a 65% scholar there and a full-merit CHED scholar, too! I'm taking BS Computer Engineering. Actually, after my HS graduation, I was planning to take education or some courses in the medicine field; but too sad, I failed.

Maybe God has a reason why He let me take this course! I have to tell you that your "prediction that someday I will be excelling on school" (according to Mama) has never been false. As you've known, I became SAES honor student; and during my HS in PNHS, I became an honor student, too!

That would not be possible, if at the first place I manage not to appreciate "education" since my Kinder years, being nurtured during my first step in Elementary and striving more during my HS years. And now, that I am a College student, I tend to recall the memories/experiences/knowledge that I have acquired during those years.

I love studying ever since. Being so frank, when someone says that I am an intelligent student, I often replied, "No, I am just studious. It was just like not the way you study your notes!"

By the way, this January-April would be our Third Term and, hopefully with no failing grades, I will have my internship this June-December. Now, I wanted to apply the skills I've learned!

Sometimes, even though its raining so hard or even typhoon may come, I always insist to my parents that "Hey, we do have classes". (even though there's really not). I just love going to school; because my life is school; and I hope that would change. I wanted to be as a common individual who dreams, who aspires, and who socializes.

Also, sometimes, I became sad that I cannot do some of the things that I want because of my studies. I always tell my self, "BJ, you should have maintained your grades, time will come that you can do want you wanted to do. Just be patient. God is always there beside you."

How crazy, right? No, I am not crazy; and I never wanted to be.

As compared before, I tend to love English. I just appreciated the English language during my 1st year college! I love writing (I remembered those days that I will be competing in a Journalism contest at Taguig where at that time I have my personal problems with my Papa) and I love blogging, too!

For almost seven years of having no communication with my Grade 1 teacher (Grade 1 Section 3 :P), this Christmas message may fill the gap between a teacher and her student. By the way, who is Jovelyn? Sorry, but I cannot remember her.

A year will then passed by; and I hope better opportunities and more blessing may come to us! God Bless and Take Care.

Haziel Schulbergs (December 25, 2010): 

Wow what can i say? You are a really smart and intelligent young man. You have impressed me so much with your stories, most of all i was able to relate to most of the episodes as i had the same experiences before, all i can say is keep going and keep doing what you are doing to reach your goal one day you will look back and say thanks to God for everything you have done, all the hardwork that you do, all the sacrifices will pave the way to your success. I can see that now. No matter how much difficult it is with financial needs and all others you can do it. I did it before so you can look up to me. Now i can say im very successful with my chosen field im now one of the bosses at my work. I had so much saga before i reach the top position but I did it because i was determined, hardwrking and honest with everything I do.

Im so proud of you, i really am. When you finish let me know and if you want to try your luck here i can maybe be able to do something. Your course is one of the industries au is short skilled so you can try and apply here. You can even try applying some scholarships they offer. Why dont you try and check out www.immi.gov.au and see what you think.

With regards to socialization, you try to enjoy as much as you can as well just clean and straight fun will be good to balance your life. You dont have to stop doing the things that will inspire you more and more with your studies. Im sure you are surrounded with young friends that shares the same values as you are.

You are going to be good at what you do im sure of that. Ohmm dont be sad you can always study medicine or other doctoral degrees once you finish your first course. Im still gonna be doing speech pathology maybe late next year so there you go.

I felt some sadness at the last part of your message ( first one) i do understand why you say that i have been there and done that. You mean you have been studying instead of enjoying and partying with friends? There is nothing wrong with that you are just prioritizing your time and because you are smart you know that if you dont put studying as your top priority you will have some unfavorable circumstances. So you are doing the right thing. Dont be sad you will reap the reward soon x

I feel deeply honoured that you have open up to me im so glad and you have been so especial for me since then so you can tell me anything.

I tell you now! You will be very successful so take care and God bless your way up!

Jovelyn is my other student that i trained to compete in grade one story telling competition she is also brilliant just like you. I thought she was in the last batch i tought before i fled to au. You were jomarie's classmate am i right?

Lastly i want to tell you this: be the best you can be with the talent God gives you. There are no shortcuts in life. If you hustle with concentrated effort everyday to a high goal, you can achieve everything you desire - but only if do it with a strong mental frame of mind, a bigger heart than you think you have and with a burning fire in your belly. Be kind to others but dont trust so quickly, continue to always be respectful, always keep a smile on your face for it will uplift others around you. Keep your eyes on God and always give Him the glory and praise. 

By the way your english is excellent! You may have spotted some spelling errors and other symantics and syntax issues hehe im no longer very concern about those hehe no longer an english teacher here au english is laid back and so different from american english. Keep up the good works. How is your mum? And you dad? I remember you have a younger sis how is she? She must be grown up too, ohgosh im getting so old now hehe No cant be section 3? You are the first section im sure hehe x

Love,
Me

Eduardo A. Bolanga Jr. (December 25, 2010): 

No, I was on Section 3 when I was in Grade 1. But, it's alright for me!

By the way, I'll be checking the link you have given to me; and promised to update you monthly about my life to keep in touch with my teacher.

My mom and dad keep on supporting me all throughout. Yes, sometimes, we tend to have some misunderstanding and gap issues. But, I think those were very common to a certain family. We do not let problems hinder our way to something we want to have.

Yeah, I have a younger sister. Her name is Yehlen! I knew that you have been her Grade 1 teacher, too. Of course, on studying, she is not like me. She is now a third year student! My parents shift their attention to her since I can already handle myself when it comes to studies.

I also have two brothers. They are Gerald and Jayson. The former is an out-of-school youth. My parents have tried their best to send him to school, but it doesn't worked out! Maybe the problem is on the person involved. Kuya Jayson is now working in a semiconductor industry.

It's not only you who's getting older and older, me too! I cannot even imagine that I am now a College student, recalling way-back memories from my childhood! To tell you, those memories which I have actually remember were those when I was in school. I have told you that my life is school.

I am not Jomari's classmate. I think I am older than him. But I knew that we have been in a competition in Grade 6 about Jose Rizal's "Mi Ultimo Adios." Luckily, I won.

If my teacher is honored to what I am telling to her right now, I can conversely say that I am "very much thankful" that Ms. Orpiana has been my teacher. You have encouraged me to strive more, to study more, to be the best that I can, and to achieve my dreams.

One more thing, you've imparted me "your confidence"; that wherever I am, I manage to stand out even though deep in myself, I am not doing something to make me look that way.

You deserve a "thank you". To all your dedications and commitment to your work, you have molded people that probably appreciated what you are doing for them. And I can say I am one of them.

It's Christmas and we should not be so emotional. Actually, I almost got teary-eyed typing and reading your messages to me. I think, being so sensitive, is among of the human mechanisms which I cannot control. It's okay to cry but with a purpose, it may be because your happy or your sad.

Sure, I'll be updating you if I am about to graduate.

Haziel Schulbergs (December 25, 2010):

Thank you so much for all the nicest things you say i will be following up on you everynow and again x keep it up all the time! xox

An Ambition at a Glance

Every individual has his own ambition to achieve. But such ambition wouldn't be possible if at the first place, you didn't exert your effort of realizing it. As for myself who does everything just to make me succeed and just to give my parents recognition of what they did for me. I certainly love my parents second to God and that is something they deserve.

I wanted to feel assured that as I walk through the path of success, I will learn something from it. That I will be able to stand in every failures that I faced. Giving yourself the encouragement to do something beyond what you think is something to be proud of. Giving your best shot to whatever you do is an addition.

Today, my dream still not changed. I wanted my parents to be happy and feel the utmost relaxation (the thing they do not usually experience) from working hard for our family to survive. I wanted to treat them with something so memorable. As for my two brothers and a sister, I will support them with whatever they need, but exemption applies. I wanted them to strive by themselves to prove that they are worthy being supported. But if that will not happen, my full support will still be theirs. That's how I love my family.

An ambition, for some, may look so vague - something that is indefinite, unclear, or intangible. But sorry and I beg to disagree with that. Yes, it may look uncertain for now, but if you have the mind set of perceiving it as something that can be reached, then that definition does not applies. I would like to cite how Wikipedia defines ambition. It says that ambition is the "desire for personal achievement" which "provides the motivation and determination necessary to achieve goals in life."

It may be seen as an ambition at a glance, but it will soon become a reality that constitutes the combination of your life's failures and learning. It is not bad to dream as long as you're doing efforts to make it happen.

Different Blends Of Coffee

A cup of coffee or two would make me feel so energized because of the caffeine it has as main ingredient. But coffee has always been a witness of my morning's mood, whether it is good or not. But coffee isn't just an ordinary hot drink in the morning, it actually defines what my life is. Sometimes it may be sweeter, or there may be instances that it is too strong. Coffee can sometimes have mild and perfect tastes!

As Coffee Gets Sweeter. My life is full of emotions like other people have. I tend to be sweet on my family, friends and colleagues. I describe myself as sweet for I can sometimes be an instrument to put away one's burden by simply having jokes. I am a very happy individual. Though it seems that I am not, I love being happy and that will never change no matter what happen. For me, a simple smile can let your worries away. Happiness gives you energy to pursue things that look so hard. Just like coffee, being a sweet person makes someone feel being loved and being cared upon.

As Coffee Gets Milder. A mild coffee would describe how easy-go-lucky I am when it comes to non-serious parts of my life. Such part constitutes just 40% of my whole being, maybe because I am studious and I don't want to waste the time I can allocate for studying. I am a very mild person. I laugh. I cry. I freak out. I love.

As Coffee Gets Stronger. Some would say that I am not strong. They can say so, but I doubt if they can prove it. Like other people who fight to be well treated and to be respected as human is a battle I will never surrender. Who in this world doesn't like to be treated as a human? Who in this world wanted others to degrade his rights? Of course, no one. Unless, you are on a situation of a seemingly no hope crossroad. I am strong on my own self. I believe in myself in whatever circumstances. With the guidance of God who is always giving me strength, I will never ponder. On how I look into problems may be different on how others perceive theirs. Being strong is to be able to build yourself, to build your character with the core values in an environment where diversity of ideas is present.

Drinking coffee in the morning isn't just to be ordinary. Taste the coffee and describe its blend. Such description may define your life, your inner thoughts and dreams.

The Unexplainable Energy

With the lots of stress and other mind-cracking scenarios of my life, I wanted to give myself something so "luxurious." But, I define luxurious as something very enjoyable and memorable as I get back through it on my mind. I just wanted to be with friends or those with my loved ones. And I wanted to enjoy every moment as if it was the last! Tomorrow is never promised so enjoy every life, opportunity that God is giving you.

I wanted to go somewhere in the North. I wanted to go to Baguio and experience its cold environment and other scenery. Most especially I wanted to go and stepped into the world's famous Banaue Rice Terraces. I have never been there since I was a child. I wanted to go there even just for few days just to unwind myself and get being relaxed on a different way, on a different touch of nature.

I love nature so much. I cannot explain the energy coming from this wonderful creation of God. It provides seemingly infinite ways of having your both body and mind relaxed amidst stressful life, work, family, etc. That is why when given an opportunity to get a vacation and of course, having been saved money for such adventure, I will never have any chance of thinking twice.

Giving yourself a gift with a touch-of-nature is indeed one of the very expensive presents you can receive. With the moments you can get from it, from the adventure you can experience on it, truly that it will make you someone who loves life more and pursue on many opportunities ahead of you.

Also, on this time that we had to find our inner strength and inner peace, we may be able to think or even find solutions on our weaknesses, struggles, and pains. With the help and guidance of God, we may find life as more enjoyable and more worthy for living.