Every Birthday Deserves a Happy Celebration

It's my birthday! I am thanking God for everything He has done for me for the past 19 years. I am now already 20 years old. And I'm proud of that. With the journeys and trials I have been through, I can say that I have been strong and have known the people who I can trust and lean on at time of adversities.

I love the morning! As I woke up, my mom greeted me on this special day. I have silent cry on my heart when my parents greeted me. I admit that sometimes I am bad to them, but I always love them for the care and support they have given me.

There are many things and people that I wanted to thank God for.

ONE: My family, especially my parents, who loves me so much. Even though I let them feel bad sometimes, I show to them how I love them, too! They are always at my side whenever I have problems. For without my parents, I wouldn't be here. For without them, I wouldn't be the thanking God for the blessings He gave to our family.

TWO: When I do not want to disclose my problems to my parents, my friends are there to extend their support. I trust and respect my friends. And so I am expecting them also to do with me. Yes, I have to admit that sometimes, we had sort of misunderstanding, but at the end of the day, we managed to be friends again as if nothing happened. I laugh, cry, and bond with them.I love my friends for without them, I cannot be who I am.

THREE: On my achievements in life, I can proudly say that not all teenagers who are 20 years old have already experienced the way I have gone through. Not to mention the things that I have surpassed on, but those were just problems that made me stronger and recognitions that made me more proud than before.

FOUR: My attitude simply describes myself. Some people would say that I look so "mataray", but I am actually not. That was just my physique and that does not resembles of what I am inside. On the manner I walk and talk, some would say that I am "maarte", but it was just how I express the real me. Those are not defense mechanisms, that is the truth. Because of my attitude, I have gained friends, and people have learned to trust on me.

FIVE: I am actually thanking God for His future plans on me, whether on me or my family. I cannot change how God created my destiny, but I will  just enjoy the blessings that God is giving me, for me to be contented of what I have now.

Today, on my Facebook account, I posted: "Thanks to all who greeted on my birthday! Thank God its October! I'm still alive. This day I've realized that good friends don't just greet you on your birthday, they wanted you to feel being loved everyday! Thank you so much." 

For I Have Loved 'A' the Third Time Around

It was rainy season last year when I started thinking of writing this friend's anecdote. At first, I have no idea what to write and what symbolisms to use on my article. And finally, I have decided to write something about a heart-to-heart encounter with a friend of mine when we had our summer getaway. I am not just the only person to know about it, but we were actually four in the group including him.  

We saw our friend so lonely on the seaside writing the name of the girl she loves. We teased him, and suddenly drop of tears flowed on his eyes. We asked him why. He did not respond. He managed to be alone on the resort hotel we stayed in. But since I love writing, I asked him if I could write his love story provided that I will not mention any names. He corrected the information to make it more reliable and here is his love story. 

FOR I HAVE KNOWN 'A': "It’s so funny to love." That was my first perception of love before. Later on, I knew that love is not as easy as ABC.  It is a complex combination of different emotions and giving your trust to someone.

When I was in high school, I loved someone. It was just a “puppy love” which lasted for almost a year. I never gave my trust nor did I do something so special to someone. It was just like being happy seeing her, visiting her, and talking to her. And nothing follows.

No kisses. Just hugs.

When I went into college, there are several people whom I have seen. There are so many different faces, so many different attitudes to know. 

But only one girl caught my attention. She was ‘A’. At first, I don’t know her, but destiny worked out and we became friends. It’s so hard to find a friend in a diversity of social statuses and personal wants. I really don’t know how we became friends. I can’t even recall who made the first move to make us friends. Honestly, it’s God’s plan.

‘A’ is a very controversial person of my life. She is the girl being always asked to me by my friends. I don’t want to talk about her, when only I want is to build a greater relationship with that girl of Makati. 

FOR I HAVE LOVED 'A' ONCE: When I was second year in college, I texted ‘A’ that I love her. I am so afraid to tell it to her personally since it was the second time I felt being in love again. I told her that I admire the way she is. A is simple; I have no doubt with that. She doesn’t even know how to dress herself properly. But beyond that, I really love her – her smile and her good attitude.

After couple of months of showing my affection to her, she finally broke her silence. She, together with her friends, invited me in a coffee shop. I really don’t have any idea what to happen next.

When I saw A with her friends, A requested her companions to go somewhere since we have something to talk about. I felt being in a weird scenario. I haven’t done any wrong and I know that. From our short conversation, she admitted that she already has a boyfriend – the fact that she does not disclose to me for a year.

I became sad. I felt being fooled. I drank liquor. I cried.

FOR I HAVE LOVED 'A' TWICE: Eventhough she already has a boyfriend, my love to her was not affected. She became so honest to me and I will be to her in return. I told her something so private about my life which few people only know. She accepted me for who I am. I felt that she loved me more than before. We communicate to each other more often. We go outside. We live life as “bestfriends” for her, but as “girlfriend/boyfriend” for me.

There are several issues which affected her current relationship. I saw that time to show off my feelings again. I received no good response. She’s afraid of experiencing again what happened to her. So she did not choose me the second time around. After days of misunderstanding, I have heard that A still chose her boyfriend who gave her heartaches at times. 

I did my best to rebuild their relationship. I was a martyr. I told his boyfriend to take care of A, to love A as much as I could.

FOR I HAVE LOVED 'A' THRICE: There was a night which I can never forget. A called and told me that she had a break up with her boyfriend. I asked her the reasons. She said that it was jealousy. I asked her what she feels. She felt being immature and useless. I gave her the encouragement to live life happily. And I’m happy that she’s doing what I have said. She wanted to say sorry for what she has done to me on not me again and again.

 

I still love A, but A still love his boyfriend. I am so lost. I don’t know what to do. I am a feeler that A and me are in a relationship – that we do things as if we are lovers.

Maybe it’s the best time to let her go. I have to accept that A will never be mine. Only God knows what our destiny would be. If time will come that A has already learned how to love me, that she has already realized that I am better than her boyfriend, I would gladly say to her, “It was too late, my heartbeat will never be yours anymore.”

Hugs and Kisses from My Late Grandma

It was almost ten years that I never get back to Bicol. We received a text message from our relatives there that my lola (we used to call her Lola May; "May" in Bicol language means mother) has sick and needs to be hospitalized. Because of that shocking news, my father's sister and brother and himself who are living here at Manila went to the province to check their mother's condition.

There they knew that my grandma has a tumor in the liver and the chances of living is 50/50. We never lose hope.  We prayed and hoped that everything will gonna be fine. But it did not happen. My lola died. She was 68 years old. It was almost a week after I and my younger sister visited her due to my grandma's illness. It was also 10 days before my birthday.

I actually do not have the plan to go to the province. There is something so strange, a force that drives me of going there with no plans. I wanted to surprise lola, believing that she will regain her strength when she see the people she has not seen for a decade. It was 6:00AM when we arrived. It is unexpected. They were shocked seeing us. It was actually an experiment of going there. It was 10 years before. In that span of long years, many should have changed. And it's true. Many has changed.

Hugs and kisses are my breakfast coming from lola. Before, she used to make me coffee and give me bread. Now, its only me who make my own coffee and buy my own bread. I miss how much lola cared for me when I was young. She was amazed seeing me and my younger sister, that before she compared me as little boy who is so "makulit" and "malikot."

Honestly, I cannot remember so many things about my childhood. What I mostly remember are school moments. I usually think that half of my life is missing because I am get used to studying, without remembering some important events of my childhood.

The last will of my lola to me is not to take a bath after school or else I have brain damage. Though she is not credible saying such medical diagnosis, I will follow her, because for doing it is similar as if I am with my grandmother's love, hugs and kisses. When I was there, I made some of the things I did before. It was so memorable!

It was only less than 10 hours when I went there for I have to go back to Manila to enroll myself. It was Sunday of September 12 when I almost recall some of the best scenes of my childhood. It was the last day when I saw my lola.

I'll be back soon to visit my grandparent's grave. I will go there offering the success I had because of them especially to lola. I miss and love my grandmother so much. 

My Beloved Province

Whenever I am thinking about my beloved province, I usually get being teary-eyed. Not because that there are so many unfortunate circumstances that happened there, but with the memories I had with my lola and relatives.

Bogñabong, Tabaco City, Albay. It was actually the hometown of my father. He used to live here on his childhood and mid-adulthood. He tried his luck here in Manila, and luckily he got hired as a Lineman at COMSYS. He was also given the chance to go abroad and with so many events, he met my mother. 

So much for that. 

We had a typical provincial house in Bicol. My father's side has a typical life there, so my mom has to adjust and be a typical housewife, too! At the back of our house, you can see the majestic beauty of Mayon Volcano and the vast ricefield. As you walk through the rice field, you can see the beauty of the sea from afar. We are actually on a perfect location for such view. On the side where the trees of sampaloc, bulac, macopa, coconut, mango, suha, and pili. We actually have abundant sources of fruits, unless there will be no typhoon to hit the province. We are near a bucal we call as "Bubon", and an overflowing pond we call as "tangke." My tito, tita, and lola are so supportive to me that they always give me what I want. I am not spoiled, but I just get what I want. There were also pabo, chicken and ducks that I chased upon. I barely have playmates, so I just played with those land creatures. Sight seeing of snakes, carabaos, tutubi, and other weird creatures are not so strange for me those times.

Whenever we go there to have vacation, our relatives welcome us always with heart. I also had my childhood days there. I went studying kindergarten and got 3rd honors. I usually laugh when my mom recalls the things I did there. She said that whenever I saw her doing laundry at the Bubon, I always greet her and say, "Mama, may assignment ako." My mom replied, "O sige, gawin mo na sa bahay." But since I am so studious since back then, I already finished the assignment at school.

I lived there as a typical child going to school and mingling with my schoolmates. I remember on our school that whenever we do cleaning, the music "I'm a Barbie Girl" is always being played, that I almost memorized the song.

I was barely six years old when I lived and study there. I went for a visit when I was 9 and never had the chance to revisit due to my tight school schedules. But my mom and my dad do visit them. Still, nothing has changed according to them. The same typical living I knew before.